Are you struggling with the decision on whether to stay in your marriage or get a divorce? Pre-Divorce Coaching will provide you with clarity and relief instead of being confused and angry. We will help with planning your future, including: financial security, co-parenting arrangements, and emotional relief.
Is My Marriage Over?
If you find yourself wondering, “is my marriage over?”, I can help! I know that your confusion and fear over this issue is overwhelming. I have been there. I also have almost two decades of experience in the divorce business. You need someone who has the skills to help you sort through your many questions and put structure into whether you should stay or go.
When Robin Graine is your Divorce Coach, she will help you work through your questions and create well-reasoned options for how to move forward in your life.
You may wonder:
- Will I be able to support myself on my own?
- How will my children cope if we split?
- How will I reinvent myself after being married for so long?
- What will happen to my home if my marriage is over?
If you are feeling anxious by all the issues running through your mind, give Graine Mediation’s Divorce Coaching service a try. Our service was designed to meet your unique needs at this critical time in your life. Is my marriage over? Not sure if Divorce Coaching is right for you?
Is My Marriage Over? Divorce Coaching Provides Answers
Robin Graine, owner of Graine Mediation, helps you work through your questions and concerns when what you want to know is: Is my marriage over? Robin will provide you with the tools and knowledge to help you make the best decision for yourself and your children.
Robin’s skillset is unique. Since 2009, she has owned Graine Mediation, one of Northern Virginia’s preeminent divorce mediation firms. She is a Certified Divorce Mediator, a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst, and former divorce attorney and family law hearing officer. She also faced divorce at a time when she had two young children at home and only a part-time job.
Robin has the right legal and financial acumen to help you:
- consider all of your options;
- sort through your options;
- set goals;
- put together a timing strategy; and
- work on a plan of action
Robin has been through what you are going through. She understands the intense emotions you feel well when determining if your marriage is over. She will keep you focused on the realities of marriage versus divorce. There is a lot to consider.
At Graine Mediation, we have the personal and professional knowledge -- law, finance, tax, custody, career planning, life-transitioning -- to recommend the appropriate tools and methods to help you figure out if your marriage is over. If it is, we will help you cope with all the issues you will face should you decide to divorce. If you decide, instead, to stay married, we will help you readjust your expectations and find ways to repair your marriage.
Our Approach to Figure Out If Your Marriage is Over
First and foremost, Robin will focus on you. There are no cookie-cutter solutions when you are trying to decide “is my marriage over?”. Robin will help you pinpoint what your goals are and what you think is most important for your children. Graine Mediation’s Divorce Coaching service, we will help you develop a roadmap to achieve the life you envision for yourself and your children.
- She listens, with compassion, to your story;
- She provides you with emotional support;
- She helps you discover your strengths and boosts your confidence;
- She talks with you about your kids and shares what she has learned over the years about children of divorce;
- She listens to your concerns and shares what often happens to children who grow up in loveless or dysfunctional marriages;
- She shares positive marriage and divorce stories to show you the best way to tackle your problems;
- She discusses techniques to help you deal with your spouse (whether you decide to get divorced or stay married);
- She talks about career opportunities if you foresee needing to go back to work or step-up your work-life;
- She provides key information about the financial aspects of divorce;
- She provides important information about the tax aspects of divorce;
- She provides significant information about the legal aspects of divorce;
- She provides a picture of what the divorce process will look like given various options and scenarios;
- She talks about how divorce will change your life—the good and bad; and
- She shares her own success story and acts as a role model—Robin had to reinvent her life after her marriage unexpectantly blew up when she was a mom of two young children and only working a part-time mini career.
Take Our Quiz: Is My Marriage Over?
When considering is your marriage is over, most people experience difficult emotional ups and downs. You may be faced with letting go of long-held dreams, accepting that you’ve lost your best friend, or having to come to terms with a deep-rooted betrayal. You may find that these emotions are making it difficult for you to make decisions. These emotions, along with the serious financial and parenting issues you are facing, often cloud your thinking and make it difficult to move forward.
At Graine Mediation, Robin’s goal is to help you work through each of your concerns, one by one, so that you can make important decisions about your marriage with confidence.
Robin helps you stay on track and focused on your goals without letting your emotions sabotage your long-term happiness.
How Does Divorce Coaching Answer the Question: Is My Marriage Over?
The halting force of many people considering ending their marriage is money. Is my marriage over? It might be -- but what about your financial security? Is that over, too? Most likely, the answer is “no”. You will need to plan for it, though, and Robin can help.
As a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA), Robin will help you understand what you can expect in a typical divorce financial settlement. This includes alimony (aka spousal support), child support, the division of assets (the house, retirement, bank accounts), and the distribution of debt.
If it looks like you will need to re-enter the work force, or step-up your work life, Robin will help you work through your fears (which is pretty common for her clients who have to go back to work). Robin herself had to go back to full-time work after staying home for 11 years to raise her children. Drawing upon this personal experience, as well as her financial, tax, and legal knowledge, she will guide you through the big questions and create options for how to resolve those issues.
Typical questions include:
- How much can I expect in alimony/spousal support?
- Will I be able to keep my house?
- How much will I need to make per month to sustain my standard of living?
- Will my spouse get a portion of my retirement assets? Will I get a portion of his/hers?
- Who will be responsible for paying off our credit card debt?
- What can I expect in terms of child support?
- What does child support cover?
- What happens if the payer of alimony/spousal support dies?
- Will my spouse be required to pay for my re-training to enter the workforce?
- If I need to use retirement money to survive, will I have to pay a lot in taxes
How your children will do is the number one concern of people who are considering the question: Is my marriage over? When children’s lives are involved, all Divorce Coaching sessions with Graine Mediation are child-centered. All the money in the world pales in comparison to raising well-adjusted children who have a happy home life and a good relationship with both parents.
Robin will help you think through your questions and come up with reasonable solutions that will provide what your kids really need in terms of:
- smooth transitioning from one home to two homes;
- emotional support;
- stability; and
- seeing you and their other parent move on from your marriage as happy, child-focused co-parents.
Is my marriage over? It might be -- but your parenting relationship with your ex is not. Robin will help you find ways, based on nearly two decades in the divorce business, and her own personal experience, to effectively co parent with your ex.
Robin will provide tools to improve communications with your child’s other parent, such as:
- Determining what will really matter to your children in the long-run;
- Figuring out how to keep your children happy without trying to control your ex’s behavior;
- Finding ways to talk with your child’s other parent about important issues without pushing volatile buttons; and
- Understanding which compromises are necessary for your children to have a loving, stable upbringing.
The various types custody arrangements will also be discussed in your Divorce Coaching sessions. Robin’s clients, when deciding if their marriage is over, are always very concerned about their children having to grow up in two separate homes. Some of her clients’ most pressing questions are:
- What are my custody choices?
- Do we have to do 50/50?
- What is a 2/2/3 custody share arrangement?
- Does the house factor into the custody decisions?
- Won’t shared custody confuse my very young child?
- How will I make my teenager go to the other parent’s home?
- Will I get full custody if I have been a stay-at-home-parent for many years?
- Will my child’s special needs be taken into consideration?
- What if my child’s other parent and I don’t agree on therapy for our child?
Many clients take comfort in the fact that Robin and her ex-husband have an excellent co-parenting relationship -- even though the divorce was precipitated by her spouse’s heartbreaking betrayal. This is hard work. However, many people find co parenting with an ex much easier than staying in a bad marriage.
Robin’s experience shows that divorce often provides an opportunity to focus solely on parenting. Once you no longer have to navigate all of the other complexities of marriage -- sex, housework, relatives, work-ethic, attitudes -- co parenting is often a welcome relief.
Is my marriage over? It might be … but your children might have two better parents as a result!</h3
Emotions play a big role in determining is my marriage over. Divorce is not for the weak-of-heart. If you are not feeling strong, and have decided to move forward with a divorce, Robin will help build the confidence necessary to move forward with this decision. The same is true if you decide to stay married. Good marriages require both spouses to be confident, and feeling good about the decision to be married, in order to navigate the complex and difficult situations that all marriages present.
Many people who stall on the question “is my marriage over” are swimming in self-doubt, debilitating sadness, and anger. By working through your doubts and fears, Robin helps ensure that your emotions do not become roadblocks to your happiness.
Typical areas covered include:
- What can I do to build my self-confidence?
- What, specifically, is blocking my ability to make decisions?
- Is your worry about your children making it hard to determine if your marriage is over?
How will I deal with post-divorce loneliness?
- Will I ever be able to make it on my own?
- What is the best way to really take a break from my worries?
- Should I spend more time in therapy or more time looking for a job?
- Should I share my story with my friends?
- Everyone says I should work out. Is that really helpful?
- I feel so guilty. How can I take that energy and turn it into something productive?
- I am so sad that I can’t think. How can I jump start my brain to make these big decisions?
Is my marriage over? We will work on that question. For different people, the same set of facts can result in a different answer. It depends on you.
- How much change can you handle?
- How much change can your children handle?
- How important is it to you that you stay married?
- Do you feel like your marriage is really just a slow death of your soul?
Don’t keep spinning the question in your mind about whether or not your marriage is over. Chances are, you already know the answer in your heart. Everyone has different criteria upon which they need to make their decision; but everyone reading this article needs to make that decision.
When a marriage is broken, you can be sure that other relationships will also feel the effects of its brokenness. Family members, friends, neighbors, business partners, and other community relationships will be impacted. You know this.
Whether you stay married, or get divorced, a troubled marriage affects all of your relationships.
As your Divorce Coach, Robin will address your worries and help you work through how to best manage concerns, such as:
- Will I lose my close friends?
- Do some people end up making new and better friends after divorce?
- How will I form new friendships if my marriage is over?
- What is the best way to break to news to my neighbors and parents of my children’s friends?
- How do I rebuild my identity, separate from my spouse?
- Do I need to tell my kids’ school?
How Does a Divorce Coach Differ from a Therapist?
A therapist works with you to evaluate your past and determine how it has led you to where you are today. A therapist will also focus on healing you from past traumas and assisting you with techniques to manage your fears and insecurities. Though this is all important for healthy survival, a Divorce Coach uses a much broader and more practical strategy to help you decide if your marriage is over --- and what to do about it if it is.
At Graine Mediation, Robin develops an actionable plan to help you overcome what is holding you back from making the ultimate decision: Is my marriage over? This requires a careful inventory of your worries -- financial, parenting, community, and career. Usually, deep down inside, you know what the answer is. It is the practical details that make the decision so difficult -- and terrifying.
Therapists are not lawyers, nor are they financial experts. Robin is. Though your therapist may have good ideas about how to manage your emotions, they will not know the legal or financial impacts when considering if your marriage is over -- and what to do about it if it is.
How Does a Divorce Coach Differ from a Lawyer?
Divorce lawyers are trained to strategize for the win, but that is probably not what you need now at this tender early stage when your marriage seems to be falling apart. If you are asking yourself, “Is my marriage over?” a Divorce Coach is a better choice.
A lawyer’s job is to take down the opponent. In a family situation, though, this rarely has a positive effect on you or your children. The “winner takes all” approach usually results in outrageous attorney fees and, though you might win big on one issue, you will almost surely lose on another.
If you are searching for an experienced professional to help you decide if your marriage is over, a divorce lawyer is not trained for that type of counseling. A lawyer’s job is not to help you make that decision but, instead, to go to battle for you once that decision has been made … if your situation even requires a “battle”.
A Divorce Coach, on the other hand, will help you answer the question “is my marriage over?”. That is the Divorce Coach’s job. To help you think through, in an organized fashion, all the pros and cons of either staying in your marriage or getting out.
How Much Does Divorce Coaching Cost?
At Graine Mediation, we offer a three-hour Divorce Coaching package for $595.
Most people choose to break this into three 1-hour sessions. This is about the same as a therapist, but you will also get the benefit of legal, financial, tax, and career assistance to help you make the best decision for you and your children.
Ready to get started?
Set up your first Divorce Coaching phone conference with Robin at our easy-to-navigate