Why Divorce Mediation Works

"Divorce mediation works because it is sensible, focused, private and efficient."

  • Peaceful and private process. Divorce mediation works because the focus is on privately creating a divorce settlement that brings comfort, security and peacefulness back to your family.
  • Focus on key issues. Divorce mediation works by helping you efficiently focus on the key issues for resolution.
  • Fair solutions. Divorce mediation works by ensuring well-informed and fair solutions to your divorce disputes and issues.
  • ​​​​​Stay out of court. Divorce creates enough trauma in and of itself. Unless you truly need the protection of the courts, the last thing you need is to compound your troubles by stressful, combative and high cost litigation.

Divorce mediation is the sensible alternative to divorce lawyers and litigation.

  • Divorce mediation is private. By law. The law protects the confidentiality of divorce mediations, unlike a public courthouse.
  • Divorce mediation creates a secure environment for sensitive issues. The privacy of divorce mediation creates a secure environment for divorcing couples to have open and necessary conversations about sensitive, personal and highly important topics.
  • Courthouses are public. A public courthouse is usually not a good place for families to discuss personal matters concerning themselves and their children, or make important decisions about their family’s financial future.
  • Nothing you say may be used against you later. Should your case ever wind up in the courts, nothing you say in divorce mediation can ever be brought out in those proceedings. However, what is agreed to in your Property Settlement Agreement becomes part of the court record and is not, therefore, protected by the divorce mediation’s cloak of confidentiality.

A public courthouse is not a good place for families to make important decisions about their future.

  • Assisted Negotiations = Divorce Mediation. The mediator will provide assistance, facilitate negotiations and act as your settlement guide and consultant.
  • With assistance, you will create your own mutual agreement. In divorce mediation, you and your spouse will create your own mutually agreeable settlement decisions.
  • Mediator always helps. Though you have a great deal of control over the end result, the mediator will be there to help you every step of the way.

In divorce mediation, you are in the driver’s seat of your own destiny.

  • In litigation = No control over other side. Even if you have a good divorce attorney, neither you nor your attorney will have control over your spouse’s lawyer.
    • This can wind up costing you a bundle in both time and money.
  • In litigation = No control over the court’s schedule. Neither you nor your attorney will have any control over the court’s crowded schedule.
    • This can cause both frustrating delays and outside pressures that work against your better judgment and your children’s best interest.
  • In litigation – Judge decides your and your children’s destiny. Litigation often leads to court. That is what divorce lawyers are trained to do. If you end up in court, you will no longer have control over major decisions that will impact you and your children for the rest of your lives.
  • Key Communication Facilitation Techniques
    • Clarify the Issues. To get to the key issues, the mediator will help you verbalize your side of the story in a manner that clarifies the points that you are trying to make.
    • Hear each other. Often times, when we speak, words do not come out as we had intended. Just as often, our words are not understood as we had intended them to be heard. Mediators are trained to ensure that you get the message delivered to your spouse as you intend it to be understood.
    • Keep tempers in check. Often times, communication ceases and individuals shut down when anger is brought into a conversation. Mediators keep the peace by reframing and paraphrasing the key points and issues in a neutral manner that is understandable to everyone at the table – and does not inflame the situation.
  • Co-Parenting. Divorce mediation tends to smooth the way for parents, who are often new to “co-parenting”, to keep the lines of communication open and work together as a team.​​​​​

Mediators are able to keep the peace by reframing and paraphrasing the key points and issues in a neutral manner that is understandable to everyone at the table – and does not inflame the situation.

  • Goal-oriented. Mediators will help you focus on your needs and goals.
  • Solution-focused. Mediators will help you generate creative solutions to your divorce issues and disputes that work well for both spouses.
  • Open perspective. Mediators will help you see situations from your spouse’s perspective, which leads to settlement faster than more combative approaches.
  • ​​​​​Neutrality. Mediators are professionally trained neutrals who advocate only for principles of fairness, rationality and informed decision-making.
  • No drama. Mediators are not distracted by courtroom drama, strategies or legal tactics.
  • Settlement expert. At Graine Mediation, Robin Graine, JD, CDFA™, practices divorce mediation exclusively. She is a settlement expert and, unlike many other lawyer-mediators in the area, never has to “take her litigation hat off” before helping her clients settle a divorce case.

95% of divorce cases settle without a trial. Why not start with settlement first – before you spend thousands of dollars on litigation?

Legally Trained Mediators – like Robin Graine, JD, CDFA™ -- Know the Law and Get You the Information You Need to Comfortably Settle your Case

At Graine Mediation, your mediator, Robin Graine, JD, CDFA™, will get you through the divorce settlement process with peace of mind knowing that you are not making rash decisions or forgetting key topics that will create problems later.

  • Robin knows the law and how courts in our area generally apply the law.
  • Robin knows the litigation games that are played by divorce attorneys – since she if a former family law attorney with many years of experience -- and how much those legal loopholes, procedural traps and hard driving negotiation tactics can drag a case on, ramp up negative emotions, and generate exorbitant legal fees.
  • Robin is a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst™ (CDFA) – CDFA certification is a rigorous national training and exam program that is a powerful complement to Robin’s experience as a divorce & family law attorney, a court appointed hearing officer in the child support & abuse courts, and many years of practice as a divorce mediator.

Nothing beats experience, legal training and financial knowledge for assessing the strengths and weaknesses of your case.