VIDEO: Robin explains the key differences between mediation and collaborative divorce. Spoiler alert: Mediation is usually your best option.
Helpful Information
Enjoy Robin’s Divorce Mediation Blog. Here she shares her knowledge and insights on topics related to divorce mediation, child support, alimony, child custody, co parenting, Marital Settlement Agreement and MSA, Virginia divorce laws, divorce finance and taxation and marital coaching.

Robin Graine, JD, CDFA
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ALLEN PAJAR

Mediation vs Collaborative Divorce
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ROBIN GRAINE, JD, CDFA, GRAINE MEDIATION

How Can I Keep My House In a Divorce
VIDEO: Robin walks you through the 3 primary methods of keeping your family home in a divorce situation.
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ROBIN GRAINE, JD, CDFA, GRAINE MEDIATION

Why Does Divorce Take So Long – 5 Reasons
VIDEO: Robin helps you push through the 5 top fears that can stall your divorce progress.
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ROBIN GRAINE, JD, CDFA, GRAINE MEDIATION

Divorce: Separation Agreement is Key (the divorce is just a formality)
VIDEO: Robin clears up misunderstandings about the difference between your divorce settlement and your divorce
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ROBIN GRAINE, JD, CDFA, GRAINE MEDIATION

Why Do Older Women Want Divorce
VIDEO: 5 key reasons for gray divorce … and tips for how to prevent it.
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ROBIN GRAINE, JD, CDFA, GRAINE MEDIATION

How to deal with Unwanted Divorce
VIDEO: Robin helps you pick yourself up and settle a divorce that you didn’t want.
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Robin shares 5 professional tips for drafting custody agreements with a difficult ex.
VIDEO: Robin shares 5 professional tips for drafting custody agreements with a difficult ex.
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ROBIN GRAINE, JD, CDFA, GRAINE MEDIATION

How to Choose a Mediator
VIDEO: Robin shows you how to choose the best type of mediator for your case.
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ROBIN GRAINE, JD, CDFA, GRAINE MEDIATION

Robin provides 7 excellent tips to keep things smooth for your kids while you are divorcing
VIDEO: Robin provides 7 excellent tips to keep things smooth for your kids while you are divorcing.
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ROBIN GRAINE, JD, CDFA, GRAINE MEDIATION

7 Tips: Helping Kids Cope with Divorce
Estimated Reading Time: 3 min read
Robin Graine has been helping parents guide their children through divorce for over 20 years. She has earned the ...
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ROBIN GRAINE, JD, CDFA, GRAINE MEDIATION

How Does Money Get Divided In a Divorce
VIDEO: Robin lays out for you, in clear language, how money and assets are split up in a divorce.
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ROBIN GRAINE, JD, CDFA, GRAINE MEDIATION

Is Everything Split 50/50 in a Divorce?
Estimated Reading Time: 3 min read
If you are considering a divorce, you are probably wondering: “How will my assets be divided?”
Most people ...
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ROBIN GRAINE, JD, CDFA, GRAINE MEDIATION

How To Make Good Decisions?
VIDEO: 5 easy steps to making good decisions.
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ROBIN GRAINE, JD, CDFA, GRAINE MEDIATION

Are Divorce Courts Biased Against Dads?
Estimated Reading Time: 7 min read
As a father, you may be lying awake at night wondering “Is the court going to be prejudiced against me, when it ...
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ROBIN GRAINE, JD, CDFA, GRAINE MEDIATION

How to Choose a Good Mediator
VIDEO: Robin walks you through the 7 key factors to focus on when choosing a mediator.
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ROBIN GRAINE, JD, CDFA, GRAINE MEDIATION

50/50 Custody - Are Courts Biased Against Men?
Estimated Reading Time: 5 min read
Divorce courts are not biased against men in 50/50 custody situations. Instead, they are looking for a particular ...
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ROBIN GRAINE, JD, CDFA, GRAINE MEDIATION

7 Tips for How to Choose Your Mediator
Estimated Reading Time: 2 min read
Choose a mediator you can trust with years of experience and an abundance of knowledge.
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ROBIN GRAINE, JD, CDFA, GRAINE MEDIATION

5 Easy Steps to Making Good Decisions
Estimated Reading Time: 1 min read
In this blog I will show you how to make a good decision in 5 easy steps.
TUNE INTO YOUR GUT. What is your ...
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ROBIN GRAINE, JD, CDFA, GRAINE MEDIATION

Should I Save My Marriage?
VIDEO: Find out with the 7 essential elements to a happy marriage.
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ROBIN GRAINE, JD, CDFA, GRAINE MEDIATION

5 Divorce Hacks for Saving Time and Money
VIDEO: Divorce is tough enough. Settlement should be streamlined.
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ROBIN GRAINE, JD, CDFA, GRAINE MEDIATION

Why Are More Older Couples Getting Divorced?
Estimated Reading Time: 2 min read
There are 4 primary reasons why older couples are getting divorced.
Seeking relief from boredom is a big cause ...
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ROBIN GRAINE, JD, CDFA, GRAINE MEDIATION

Modifying Child Support in Virginia
VIDEO: Robin gives step by step instructions on how to modify child support after you are divorced.
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ROBIN GRAINE, JD, CDFA, GRAINE MEDIATION

How to Modify Child Support After Divorce in Virginia
Here are the step-by-step instructions you need to know to modify your child support post-divorce in Virginia.
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ROBIN GRAINE, JD, CDFA, GRAINE MEDIATION

How to Get Divorced in Virginia
VIDEO: Robin walks you through her efficient 4-part divorce process to get an inexpensive and peaceful divorce in Virginia.
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ROBIN GRAINE, JD, CDFA, GRAINE MEDIATION

Living Separate and Apart – Virginia Divorce
VIDEO: Robin lists the criteria that courts look for to meet the requirements of “living separate and apart” for a Virginia divorce.
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ROBIN GRAINE, JD, CDFA, GRAINE MEDIATION

How Do Mediators Settle Divorces?
VIDEO: Robin explains the procedure and methodology of her efficient and fair mediation process.
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ROBIN GRAINE, JD, CDFA, GRAINE MEDIATION

The Brutal Truth About Life After Marriage
Estimated Reading Time: 2 min 30 sec
I recently answered a question on Quora (a popular question and answer site):What is the brutal truth about life ...
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ROBIN GRAINE, JD, CDFA, GRAINE MEDIATION

What Do Kids Want When Their Parent's Get Divorced?
Estimated Reading Time: 1 min read
When parents get divorced, kids don’t count the days or hours in the custody schedule. Instead, they often worry ...
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ROBIN GRAINE, JD, CDFA, GRAINE MEDIATION

Is Shared Custody Best for My Child?
Estimated Reading Time: 7min 59sec
When making custody determinations, judges and child experts usually prefer a shared parenting arrangement over ...
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ROBIN GRAINE, JD, CDFA, GRAINE MEDIATION

6 Positive Impacts of Divorce on Children
Estimated Reading Time: 3min 7sec
Your divorce may impact your children in a variety of ways. That impact depends on your children's emotional make-up ...
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ROBIN GRAINE, JD, CDFA, GRAINE MEDIATION

When Divorce Forces the Stay at Home Mom to Choose Daycare
Estimated Reading Time: 3 min 13 sec
There has been a great deal of research demonstrating that high quality daycare is beneficial to children's emotional ...
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ROBIN GRAINE, JD, CDFA, GRAINE MEDIATION

What the Judge Sees: Child Custody and Visitation
Estimated Reading Time: 6min 59sec
No one has it easy as a marriage comes to an end. But things become even more complicated – and the potential ...
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ROBIN GRAINE, JD, CDFA, GRAINE MEDIATION

How Does Alimony Work?
VIDEO: The 3 most important factors if you are considering divorce and need alimony.
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ROBIN GRAINE, JD, CDFA, GRAINE MEDIATION

Is My Marriage Over?
VIDEO: In this video, I share my 3-step process to determine Is My Marriage Over?
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ROBIN GRAINE, JD, CDFA, GRAINE MEDIATION

When to Get a Divorce?
VIDEO: In this video, I share 7 situations that usually spell the end of your marriage.
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ROBIN GRAINE, JD, CDFA, GRAINE MEDIATION

How Does Spousal Support Work in Virginia?
Estimated Reading Time: 8 min read
Virginia Code
Virginia statutory law speaks generally of the criteria that a judge must consider when deciding an ...
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ROBIN GRAINE, JD, CDFA, GRAINE MEDIATION

How To Tell Your Children About Divorce
Estimated Reading Time: 2 min 53 sec
There is no easy way to tell your children about divorce. Fortunately, there are some very good tips to help you ...
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ROBIN GRAINE, JD, CDFA, GRAINE MEDIATION

Will Coronavirus Isolation be the Last Straw in Your Marriage?
Estimated Reading Time: 5 min read
Months of quarantine under the current stay-at-home orders will test the strongest of relationships—some people ...
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ROBIN GRAINE, JD, CDFA, GRAINE MEDIATION

How Much Does Divorce Cost?
VIDEO: In this video, I tell you what divorce costs if you go the attorney route versus hiring a mediator. I also provide tips to keep your costs down. ...
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ROBIN GRAINE, JD, CDFA, GRAINE MEDIATION

Who Claims Children on Taxes After Divorce?
VIDEO: In this video, I provide everything you need to know about child-related tax benefits and how they are split up between divorced parents.
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ROBIN GRAINE, JD, CDFA, GRAINE MEDIATION

How Long Do You Have To Be Separated For Divorce In Virginia?
Estimated Reading Time: 4 Minutes 20 seconds
In a Virginia Divorce, Judges Only Divide Marital Assets Acquired Before Separation
In a Virginia divorce, ...
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ROBIN GRAINE, JD, CDFA, GRAINE MEDIATION

How are Assets Divided in Divorce
Estimated Reading Time: 3 Minutes 30 seconds
Dividing and distributing assets in a Virginia divorce is a four-step process:
Identify and determine ...
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ROBIN GRAINE, JD, CDFA, GRAINE MEDIATION

Date Of Separation - Effect on Property Distribution - Virginia
Estimated Reading Time: 4 Minutes 20 seconds
In a Virginia Divorce, Judges Only Divide Marital Assets Acquired Before Separation
In a Virginia divorce, ...
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ROBIN GRAINE, JD, CDFA, GRAINE MEDIATION

How Does Alimony Work?
Estimated Reading Time: 2 min 30 sec
There is no guarantee of alimony in a Virginia divorce. There are rules of thumb — but no hard and fast ...
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ROBIN GRAINE, JD, CDFA, GRAINE MEDIATION

9 Key Questions To Ask Before Negotiating Child Custody In Your Divorce
Estimated Reading Time: 2 Minutes 20 seconds
Parenting is a one-shot deal. And when it comes to divorce or separation, it is rarely going to be a super ...
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ROBIN GRAINE, JD, CDFA, GRAINE MEDIATION

How to Choose a Good Divorce Mediator
Estimated Reading Time: 3 Minutes 40 seconds
Contemplating divorce and unsure how to proceed? It's only natural to feel nervous about finding the right ...
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ROBIN GRAINE, JD, CDFA, GRAINE MEDIATION

Living Separate and Apart – Requirements Under Virginia Divorce Law
Estimated Reading Time: 3 Minutes 50 seconds
In a Virginia divorce, there must always be grounds for divorce. In a "no-fault" divorce, those grounds ...
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ROBIN GRAINE, JD, CDFA, GRAINE MEDIATION

What Makes Divorce Mediation Work?
Estimated Reading Time: 1 Minute 40 seconds
Mediation is a confidential settlement process in which a trained, neutral settlement expert — the “mediator” ...
Graine Mediation
ROBIN GRAINE, JD, CDFA, GRAINE MEDIATION

Child Custody Problems – Should I Use a Divorce Attorney or a Mediator?
Estimated Reading Time: 4 Minutes 40 seconds
When families break apart in a divorce, many parents do not know where to turn to get help. Divorce lawyer? ...
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ROBIN GRAINE, JD, CDFA, GRAINE MEDIATION

Tax Effects of Alimony (Spousal Support) | New Tax Rules as of 1/1/2019 under the TCJA
Estimated Reading Time: 8 Minutes 50 seconds
Starting Jan 1, 2019, the long-standing tax rules associated with alimony have significantly changed, and ...
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ROBIN GRAINE, JD, CDFA, GRAINE MEDIATION

How to Move on After Divorce: Acceptance versus Forgiveness
Estimated Reading Time: 3 min 30 sec
When a marriage comes to an end, people are often so deeply hurt that they feel they will never be able to forgive ...
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ROBIN GRAINE, JD, CDFA, GRAINE MEDIATION

What is a Marital Settlement Agreement and MSA in a Virginia Divorce?
Estimated Reading Time: 8 Minutes 30 seconds
A Marital Settlement Agreement and MSA is a contract between a married couple that sets out the terms of ...
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ROBIN GRAINE, JD, CDFA, GRAINE MEDIATION

Mine, Yours, and Ours in a Virginia Divorce
Estimated Reading Time: 13 Minutes
How Do Virginia Courts & Mediators View Equitable Distribution When a Husband and Wife Commingle Separate (Non-Marital) ...
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ROBIN GRAINE, JD, CDFA, GRAINE MEDIATION

Six Phases of Divorce Emotions
Estimated Reading Time: 2 min 50 sec
Divorce is a shock to the system even if getting divorced was your idea. When it finally becomes a reality that ...
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ROBIN GRAINE, JD, CDFA, GRAINE MEDIATION

Writing Divorce Settlement Agreements that Stand the Test of Time
Estimated Reading Time: 5 Minutes 25 seconds
Writing good Divorce Settlement Agreements—particularly when children are involved—blends two divergent, ...
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ROBIN GRAINE, JD, CDFA, GRAINE MEDIATION

Divorce Pain and Stress - 8 Tips for Feeling Better
3 min 45 sec read
People get divorced for so many reasons -- feeling alone in the marriage, infidelity, loss of intimacy and companionship, financial ...
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ROBIN GRAINE, JD, CDFA, GRAINE MEDIATION

Drafting Divorce Settlement Agreements with Teenagers in Mind
Estimated Reading Time: 5 Minutes 20 seconds
It Happens Fast
When you are negotiating the custody & visitation portion of your Divorce Settlement ...
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ROBIN GRAINE, JD, CDFA, GRAINE MEDIATION

What is "Equitable distribution of property"?
Estimated Reading Time: 9 Minutes
THE DEFINITION of EQUITABLE DISTRIBUTION – NOT 50%/50%
Equitable Distribution is the legal term for how judges, ...
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ROBIN GRAINE, JD, CDFA, GRAINE MEDIATION

Children in Divorce: What Experts Say You Can Teach Your Children
2 min 50 sec read
If you model good communication with your spouse during a divorce, it can be a helpful lesson to your children. It will help them learn ...
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ROBIN GRAINE, JD, CDFA, GRAINE MEDIATION

Extra Marital Affair Ruining Your Marriage?
2 min 50 sec read
As the 37 million people who were hacked on Ashley Madison in 2015 can attest, extra marital affairs are rampant. A study published ...
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ROBIN GRAINE, JD, CDFA, GRAINE MEDIATION

Home Again? Better Known as “Failure to Launch”
5 min 10 sec read
Graine Mediation is pleased to introduce Terri R. Adams, MSW, LCSW, BCD, as our guest blogger this week. Ms. Adams is in private practice ...
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ROBIN GRAINE, JD, CDFA, GRAINE MEDIATION

A Look at Marriage and Alexithymia (the “Unfeeling” Personality)
1 min 30 sec read
Most people in relationships have felt, at one time or another, a lack of communication. A common gender trope has a woman griping ...
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ROBIN GRAINE, JD, CDFA, GRAINE MEDIATION

Moving on After Divorce
2 min 50 sec read
Day in and day out, I deal with people who are suffering from broken hearts. It is incredibly sad. At the same time, however, I view ...
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ROBIN GRAINE, JD, CDFA, GRAINE MEDIATION

Signs He Will Change
1 min 40 sec read
You're looking for the signs he will change -- but thinking you can change your partner is a classic pitfall in many marriages. Though ...
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ROBIN GRAINE, JD, CDFA, GRAINE MEDIATION

Can an Ugly Divorce Cause PTSD?
1 min 15 sec read
You don't have to go through war to end up with the terrifying and extraordinarily discerning symptoms of PTSD. A divorce -- especially ...
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ROBIN GRAINE, JD, CDFA, GRAINE MEDIATION

Is He Cheating Signs: 6 Factors Influencing Unfaithfulness
1 min 55 sec read
Is he cheating? What are the signs? There are five factors that seem to have the greatest influence over whether a spouse will cheat. ...
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ROBIN GRAINE, JD, CDFA, GRAINE MEDIATION

Mediation vs. Litigation: What is Best for Building Relationships Between Non-Custodial Parents and Their Children
2 min 50 sec read
Torn between mediation vs litigation? If you are considering divorce, and children are involved, mediation is usually the best dispute ...
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ROBIN GRAINE, JD, CDFA, GRAINE MEDIATION

6 Methods to Effectively Co-Parent After a Nasty Divorce
Every divorcing parent has heard the same thing: You have to learn to get along with your ex… for the sake of the kids. Of course, that’s easy for ...
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ROBIN GRAINE, JD, CDFA, GRAINE MEDIATION

Divorce & Social Security: What You Need to Know
By Guest Blogger, Angelique Ayala
Everyone plans to retire. Most would like to retire sooner rather than later but, unfortunately, that doesn’t always ...
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ROBIN GRAINE, JD, CDFA, GRAINE MEDIATION

Child Custody: Your Preschooler in a Divorce
Having a preschool aged child is a lot of work. Getting divorced when you have a preschooler presents even more challenges. This article will help parents ...
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ROBIN GRAINE, JD, CDFA, GRAINE MEDIATION

Certified Divorce Financial Analyst™ Advice: - Your Kids and $!
For many individuals, getting divorced forces them to dive deep into the world of personal finance . . . sometimes kicking and screaming. It is a necessary ...
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ROBIN GRAINE, JD, CDFA, GRAINE MEDIATION

Child Custody – Keys to Success
When you are working on your child custody plans, it is important to know that virtually all experts agree that children do best when:
(a) their parents ...
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ROBIN GRAINE, JD, CDFA, GRAINE MEDIATION

What is Business Goodwill in a Virginia Divorce?
When valuing a small or family-owned business in a Virginia divorce, parties need to be aware of the concept of “goodwill.” Goodwill is divided into ...
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ROBIN GRAINE, JD, CDFA, GRAINE MEDIATION

Business Valuation & Division in a VA Divorce
Settling a divorce case in Virginia, where one of the parties owns a business, can be extremely challenging. Businesses are considered “property” ...
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ROBIN GRAINE, JD, CDFA, GRAINE MEDIATION

6 Tips for Financial Success After Divorce
6 Tips for Financial Success After Divorce
Experienced Certified Divorce Financial Analyst® (CDFA) Provides Advice
Divorce is difficult for ...
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ROBIN GRAINE, JD, CDFA, GRAINE MEDIATION

Child Support Income Determinations - Virginia Divorce
For purposes of calculating Child Support in a Virginia divorce, gross income is what is used (not net, not AGI, nor anything else). The term “gross ...
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ROBIN GRAINE, JD, CDFA, GRAINE MEDIATION

Dependent Exemptions, Child Custody & Divorce
The Internal Revenue Code has changed as of December 22, 2017. For up-to-date information about child related tax benefits, see this video.
...
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ROBIN GRAINE, JD, CDFA, GRAINE MEDIATION

Tax-timing a Marriage or Divorce
As part of your tax planning, you need to consider an expected change in your filing status for this year or next. The frequently overlooked strategy ...
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ROBIN GRAINE, JD, CDFA, GRAINE MEDIATION

Key College Planning Questions for Divorcing Parents
When a couple with children divorces, they need to consider how college expenses will now be planned. Will their original thinking about paying for college ...
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ROBIN GRAINE, JD, CDFA, GRAINE MEDIATION

Virginia Divorce – Equitable Distribution of Pre-Marital Property after the David Case
In Virginia, property that is owned pre-marriage is known as “separate property”. Separate property may consist of:
tangible assets (e.g. automobiles, ...
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ROBIN GRAINE, JD, CDFA, GRAINE MEDIATION

The “Wild West” of Divorce Law Concerning Real Estate in Virginia
For many years, the courts and bar have been trying to figure out the best way to equitably (i.e. “fairly”) divide and distribute the equity value ...
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ROBIN GRAINE, JD, CDFA, GRAINE MEDIATION

Shared Physical Custody: Civility and Communication Are Key to Successful Co-Parenting
It is so easy to continue being angry or in a constant state of irritation with your ex-spouse . . . but, if you have a Shared Physical Custody Arrangement, ...
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ROBIN GRAINE, JD, CDFA, GRAINE MEDIATION

Navigating Divorce with an Autistic Child
Navigating any divorce can very quickly become complicated and tricky. For parents with an autistic child, this added complication can become particularly ...
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ROBIN GRAINE, JD, CDFA, GRAINE MEDIATION

Does an Ex-Spouse get an Ex-Spouse’s Social Security Benefits?
Ex-spouses are often entitled to receive social security in the amount of 50% of the value of their living ex-spouse’s benefits.
You can begin receiving ...
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ROBIN GRAINE, JD, CDFA, GRAINE MEDIATION

What is the Purpose of Child Support?
Parents often are confused about what their child support obligation is supposed to cover. Like many things that involve the legal system, there is ...
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ROBIN GRAINE, JD, CDFA, GRAINE MEDIATION

The Three Golden Rules for Visitation After Divorce
Spending uninterrupted time with your child or children after a divorce can be the only thing that feels right in the aftermath of a divorce. Though ...