When a relationship comes to an end, people are often so deeply hurt that they feel they will never be able to forgive the other person. This wouldn’t be so bad, but, many people who cannot forgive their wrongdoer end up getting stuck in destructive psychological and emotional patterns.
Divorce is a shock to the system. Even if getting divorced is your idea, when it finally becomes a reality you may find yourself even more unbalanced than your spouse. The following are common emotions experienced by people going through a divorce. This list best describes the order of emotions from the perspective of the “receiver” (the spouse who is told “I want a divorce”), but is also relevant for the “deliverer” (the spouse who requests the divorce).
You find it hard to believe this is happening to you.
Thinking you can change your partner is a classic pitfall in many marriages. Though you can sometimes learn to deal with the foibles and flaws of your partner, some disagreeable habits and personality traits of your spouse can become too much to take, and you wind up in the divorce mediator or lawyer’s office.